


Sonshine

by Cyranodebergerac



Category: Law & Order: SVU, SVU
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Fluff, Male-Female Friendship, Reader-Insert, Subtext
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2018-12-13 16:59:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11764368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyranodebergerac/pseuds/Cyranodebergerac
Summary: A drabble of sorts! Or maybe the beginning of a chapter thing, who knows! Not me because I do not possess the ability to follow a chapter story through to completion. Apologies in advance.Sonny Carisi x reader, fluff, mild Rollins dislike.I think Sonny Carisi is an angel from heaven. A precious and pure man to be loved and protected for life. I love the idea of him and pet names and his accent. Ugh I just cant.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Can also be found on Tumblr, where my fics go to die, [here](https://auggiedoggiex.tumblr.com/post/164012095832/sonshine).

The visits had started a good while ago. You couldn’t pinpoint when, he probably couldn’t either if asked… Or maybe he could, you never knew with Sonny; he always surprised you with what he internalized seemingly effortlessly. Like when he had brought you lilies for your birthday after you had admitted to him more than half a year ago that you liked lilies, and when your birthday was. You were both a little drunk at the time as well, if you recalled correctly. You had chalked it up to his detective skills and thanked him with a generous pour of some of the new Japanese whiskey that you had just received a shipment of.

If you could look up good soul in a dictionary, Sonny’s picture would be smack dab in that slot and anyone who’s ever had a conversation with him would just  _get it._  For someone who dealt with the gnarly crap that he dealt with on the regular, he still managed to be the kinda guy who could find humanity in those who have been forsaken by others. Honestly, he was irrefutably the most  _precious_  man you had ever had the good fortune to meet. You had often struggled to find adequate descriptive words to explain Sonny’s character, and precious had to be one of the closest ones. You had tried to explain it to him when it came up once, had tried to tell him his soul was something to be revered and protected, and the corner of his mouth had turned up into one of those little half-smile, half-smirk things that he did, where the corners of his eyes got all crinkly. Sentimental bastard. You had smacked his arm and told him to shut up, even though he hadn’t said anything.

Talking with Sonny was as easy as breathing. Not talking with Sonny was just as comfortable, just being in his presence brought peace. It had been hard being in Manhattan when most of your family was on the other side of the continent. Until Sonny had walked in and breathed life and purpose back into your existence.

You and Sonny hadn’t really tried labeling what it was you guys shared and it was easy that way. There was no denying the bond that existed, but both of you were beyond content with the way things stood. Sonny told you everything. Family drama, work drama, stupid stories, his law ambitions, and you soaked it all in every time, enthralled with every tale and aspiration. His line of work wasn’t anything anyone would call boring, but it wasn’t even that that kept you interested and engaged. It was him.

You hadn’t really met any of his squad, but you felt like you knew them through all of Sonny’s stories. Afternoon plans for quick cup of coffee before your bar shift started found you perusing a small book shop, waiting for Sonny to arrive so you guys could head to a nearby cafe. You heard his voice through the open door before he even walked past. You took a couple slow steps towards the door as he passed, walking beside a pretty blonde with a stroller. You (didn’t eavesdrop)  _overheard_  their conversation - Sonny being all charming and enthusiastic, the blonde - Amanda Rollins, you assumed - looking incredulous, entertained. You caught the tail end of her invitation for him to “come over and do it then” and then found your feet inexplicably leaden.

Whoa.

How did you even begin to categorize this emotion?

You could still see the both of the them, Sonny now cradling a cream blanket swaddled infant up to his shoulder, smiling warmly and enthusiastically talking about “bouncing from your knees” and something unnamed fluttered in your abdomen. You glanced at Amanda’s face and she was looking at Sonny like he hung the stars in the sky.  
  
Holy shit.

How could you have missed it? If Sonny talked about anyone at SVU at all, he talked about Amanda twice as much. You suddenly felt as if you were intruding on an intimate moment. You dug your phone out of your bag and made for the door, hoping to get out before Sonny noticed you, planning to shoot him a text with some bullshit reason for skipping out on coffee.

No luck. Of course he’d notice you. Detective skills or whatever. Sonny had previously (drunkenly) told you that he could spot you in a sea of people, that he was particularly attuned to your movements, the way you moved, but you weren’t going to think of that right now. He called your name and you turned sheepishly towards him, halfheartedly waving your phone at him as you prepared to tell him that you’d been called into the bar earlier than expected.

  
“Where ya goin?,” he asked lightly before you could even get the words out. He settled the baby back into her stroller as Amanda looked at you curiously. Well, she wasn’t very hard to read at all.

“Tryna skip out on me, sweetheart?,” he continued lightheartedly, a teasing smirk on his face. Sonny walked over to you and draped an arm over your shoulder, leading you over to Amanda and her baby.

“Rollins, this is Y/N, my best girl,” he introduced proudly. You felt your chest warm and swell and tried to smother the feeling before waving awkwardly in her direction and smiling uncomfortably.

“Hey, I’m Amanda,” she greeted, not particularly coldly, but it wasn’t what you’d call friendly either. She extended her hand to you and you shook it. The three of you stood in semi-awkward silence for a beat before Amanda continued, “How long have you guys known each other? I’ve never heard Carisi mention you before.”

Not gonna lie. That niggled you a little. You felt like you practically knew her… Her truly Southern mom, her gambling problems, her wild little sister, her surprise pregnancy, her troubles with her CO in Atlanta, and she… hadn’t even heard your name before.

“Uh,” you started, somewhat caught off guard, “You know, I don’t really kn-”

“Going on two years now,” Sonny interrupted, seeming totally unaffected by the weird vibe between you and Amanda, or at least totally clueless to it.

  
“Oh,” Amanda seemed surprised, “Jeez, Carisi, that’s almost as long as you’ve been at SVU. Where you been hiding her?”  
  


Sonny shrugged, unbothered by the question, “I haven’t. Just gotta keep something from getting tainted by all the crap.”

He smiled at you then, all pure and warm like he was so proud to have kept you sequestered away like some sort of secret. You were vaguely conflicted about that, had an internal mini argument with yourself over whether or not that was a wholly sweet intention. It took no longer than a couple of beats before you talked yourself off of that ledge; there was no way that Sonny was purposefully hiding you away, like she had so casually suggested. You were important to him. You knew better than to question that. You knew Sonny, regardless of how separate Amanda wanted to make you feel from his life.

You smiled at up at him and untangled yourself from his arm, wanting to put a little distance between the two of you for a reason you could not name. He took a half step sideways so that the fabric of his coat sleeve brushed up against yours. You fought a pleased smirk before noting the coffee cup in his hand.

“You got coffee already,” you suppressed the urge to pout childishly at him because of your audience, but he knew that you would have. You could tell ‘cause he simpered.

“Yeah,” he conceded, half-guiltily, taking a quick sip before offering his cup to you, “but I can get a muffin. Or water. Then I’ll walk you to work.”

“It’s fine,” you resigned, taking the cup from him and upending the last of its lukewarm contents into your mouth, “we can just hangout. Take a walk.”

You chanced a hopefully subtle glance at Amanda, hoping he’d catch it as a question about her accompaniment.

“I’ll see you around, Rollins,” he said, not unkindly, “we’ll have lunch again.”

She nodded while looking bewildered and mildly displeased. A malicious little part of you derived a tiny amount of pleasure in that she seemed threatened by you.

Sonny slung his arm across your shoulder again and turned you toward the direction of your bar. You both walked in companionable silence for a few blocks, you easily leaning into Sonny in a way that you had both gotten used to a long while ago.

“I don’t think she likes me,” you said casually, interested in what he thought of the whole interaction.

“Rollins?,” he replied, just as casually, “Sure she does. How could anyone not like you, sunshine?”

He beamed down at you with a playful shoulder squeeze. He was teasing you knew but your heart swelled in any case.

  
“Shaddup, ya sap,” you returned, bumping him in the side with your shoulder, a cheesy grin pulling at your mouth, “She doesn’t. Only you like me. Only you could see my black soul and compare it to sunshine.”

“You are the light of my life, doll,” he said candidly, “And while I’m sure you’re making somethin out of nothing, it wouldn’t matter to me who does and who doesn’t like you. Alright?”

You offered a shy smile and you huddled closer to him, avoiding looking at his face.

He laughed, apparently amused by your bashfulness,  “What? Gettin all shy on me now?”

“Something like that,” you replied, noting that you were practically at work.

“Not gonna tell me you love me and that I’m also the sunshine of your life?,” he teased.  
  
“Absolutely not,” you quipped playfully, shoving him away so you could dig in your tote for your keys.  
  
“S’alright,” he said, “You don’t gotta say it. I know.”

You pushed the heavy wooden door open and turned to face him before going inside.   
  
“You better,” you smiled.

The two of you stood almost toe to toe for almost a minute, looking at each other goofily, before you spoke again.  
  
“Love you, man,” you conceded, finding yourself, not for the first time, overwhelmed with how lucky you were to have Sonny in your life.

“I love you too, doll,” he grinned, “Always.”

You beamed at him happily. It was nice. So nice. To feel so definitively adored in the same way that you unequivocally adored someone else. The words were new, but the feeling had been there for a while you realized. Your friendship had been remarkably organic, never forced, never taking more energy than you cared to exert.   
  
“I’ll pick you up later,” he said, pulling his coat closer around him and getting prepared to head to the precinct.

“I’m probably gonna be closing up, Sonny,” you said.

“Right,” he replied and you noted the way his features darkened for a second, and you softened, “All the more reason for me to come and get you.”

“I can catch a taxi,” you argued for the sake of keeping him a little longer.

“Okay,” he agreed, “we can catch a taxi together.”

You rolled your eyes sheepishly, “Yeah,  _dad_.”  
  
“Whatever, doll,” he returned, “See ya later.”


	2. Chapter 2

Sonny had shown you around SVU several months later. Well, not so much  _ shown _ you around as you sorta showed up at the 16th to surprise him for lunch, and he had to agree at that point, didn’t he? 

 

It had been a spur of the moment thing. You were missing your family and had been relieved of your shift at the bar by the stellar new bartender that your father had insisted you hire, so that you could “go out and live a real life” as he had put it before going on to say that you needed to stop hanging out with old cops and maybe go back to school and find yourself a nice guy with a quiet, safe life. 

  
You had scoffed at that, acknowledging it as the poorly disguised jibe at Sonny that it was, and reassured your dad that you felt  _ most _ safe with Sonny.  You, as politely as possible, told him that his disapproval would do nothing to change that. You probably wouldn’t have said that to his face, but with about 3,000 miles between you, what could he do? Plus, it was the truest thing you knew, and it felt decidedly  _ good  _ to pronounce it to anyone who questioned your relationship with Sonny. No point in denying it to try and mollify him. 

 

When you walked into SVU, it took just a heartbeat to locate Sonny in the mass of bodies. He was perched on the edge of a desk, Amanda’s desk it appeared, and was engaged in an exchange with her. He looked at her in kinda the way that he looked at you, but not quite, it should be noted.

 

Amanda spotted you before Sonny did, giving a very curt, very minute nod, and talking to Sonny for a few more breaths before informing him of your presence. He turned and smiled at you and the beyond delighted look on his face made you forget the vague displeasure on Amanda’s. 

 

“Hi, dollface,” he greeted as he made it over to you in a few of his long strides, pulling you in for a bear hug, “what a surprise.”

 

“Well, you were never gonna bring me around,” you griped playfully, “So I brought myself around.” 

 

“Yeah yeah yeah,” he dismissed teasingly, “you know how I feel about you.” 

 

You scrunched your nose up at him as he led you to an office away from the entrance.

 

“No, I don’t remember, Sonny,” you quipped, lightheartedly sarcastic, “please tell me again how I am the light of your life and you don’t want your sanctuary tainted with work crap et cetera et cetera.” 

 

“Lieu, this is my best gal, Y/N”, you heard Sonny introduce you, as it appeared he had led you into the office while you had been jokingly pestering him about his feelings, “Doll, this is my lieutenant Olivia Benson.”

  
“Hey, how are you?,” you greeted, “Sonny’’s told me so much about you.” 

 

“Wish I could say the same,” Olivia said kindly, walking around her desk to shake your hand. She perched on the edge of it and offered a welcoming smile.

 

“I just -,” Sonny started, looking mildly self-conscious, apparently wanting to explain himself.   
  
“No, no need Carisi,” Olivia interrupted, a soft expression on her face, “I get it. If I could keep everyone I loved away from here, there were be so much more peace in my life. I’d sleep easier, that’s for sure.”

 

Your face warmed and a grateful feeling swelled in your chest. 

 

“Thanks for that,” you said to her, delighted to feel so welcomed by someone who worked with Sonny. You continued, teasing as usual, “Not that I’d ever question this big oaf’s feelings for me; he tells me almost too often.” 

 

The look on Olivia’s face became politely intrigued, vaguely surprised. You were somewhat familiar with the reaction; there were very few people who understood you and Sonny’s dynamic. It had not pleased your dad when he had seen how the two of you fawned over one another, seemingly unconsciously gravitating to one another, but then adamantly insist that your relationship “ _ wasn't like that _ ”, 

 

Sonny beamed at you sheepishly before pulling you toward him and pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head,

 

“Well okay,” Olivia said in way that made you feel like she’d said it to remind you both that she was still in the room, as if she expected that you and Sonny’s exchange would go beyond these little saccharine displays of adoration, “Have a good lunch, guys. A pleasure to meet you.”

 

She excused herself with a squeeze to your arm as she twisted to pick her cell phone off her desk as it vibrated. As Sonny turned you out of her office you heard her answer, “Benson.” 

 

You vaguely wondered it felt like to be in a position like hers. You liked her already - so kind and grounded, despite her obvious importance. 

 

Sonny grabbed his coat and shrugged it on as you guys headed to the elevator in the hallway. 

 

When you guys hit ground level you decided to broach the subject that had lingered in the back of your mind since your initial run-in with Amanda a few months ago.   
  
“So,” you began, looping your arm through his. 

 

“So,” he repeated playfully. 

 

“You and Amanda seem close,” you mused aloud for him. You looked up at him and smiled curiously. 

 

“Yeah,” he replied easily, “A job like this, it helps if you’re close to your team.” 

 

“Yeah, I get that, Sonny,” you said, “but I mean like.. You know,  _ close. _ ” 

  
You had emphasized it all weird and he barked a laugh. 

 

“Are you jealous, dollface?,” he teased. You rolled your eyes. There were definitely some new feelings associated with imagining Sonny dating someone, but you weren’t sure if you were ready to call it jealousy. At least not out loud. 

 

“Aw,” he laughed, “just admit it. Just get it off your chest,  _ ‘I’m jealous, Sonny.’   _ See? Easy.” 

 

Sure, easy for him to say! All handsome and playful. Jesus. 

 

“Shaddup,” you returned, pinching his arm. Not that it did much considering the thickness of his coat. He softened at your unusual defensiveness and lack of playful quip. 

 

“I love you, babydoll,” he said, voice all soft and subdued. You offered him an affectionate glance and pressed yourself into his side.    
  
“I love you, Sonny,” you replied, looking back down to watch your synchronized steps.    
  
“You have no reason to be jealous,” he continued. 

 

Some new emotion caught in your chest, all foreign and somewhere between pleasant and confused. 

 

“You’ll always be my number one girl,” he assured, sounding sure enough to make little tears spring up and glass your eyes. 

 

You wanted to tell him he’d never get a girlfriend if he kept calling you all these sweet names and telling you that he loved you, letting you cuddle up on him and effectively putting off every girl who could potentially be interested in him by acting so much like a couple. If Amanda truly was attracted to Sonny, you didn’t think it was likely she’d ever pursue it. You felt that even if Sonny explained the nature of his friendship with you, it wasn’t likely that Amanda, or any girl really, would be willing to share their man with his loved up female best friend. 

 

What could be done at this point? 

 

You felt selfishness seep its way into your bones as you clung tighter to Sonny’s arm, as if you were afraid you’d lose him right here and now. This was a discussion for another day perhaps. 


End file.
